Breaking up. We pack up our emotional baggage and move on. We sulk a little, cry a lot, and start believing in hope once more. Then, we suddenly see a picture of our ex-partner in the closet.
And our couple tee. And the anniversary’s teddy bear. And the birthday’s bracelet.
“What should I do with all these ‘left-overs’?” I wonder.
Back when I first got my heart broken, after being miserable for a month I decided to de-clutter my life. I collected everything that reminds me of him. The love letters. The birthday card. The photos. Put them all in a black box. And…. I put them inside my closet.
Over the next six months I still liked to reminisce the memories. At least, those moments were real. But it was not healthy. Not healthy.
Once I was stalking his Facebook and saw a picture of him wearing a green t-shirt that I gave as Christmas present. Well, clearly, he still had my gift and even wore it, and it somehow spoke of hope. Even when I knew there was none. I foolishly believed that he was wearing that t-shirt on purpose for me to see, to give a secret code or something.
Of course, the hope never came.
After a year, I decided to throw away all the things. I threw away all our photos, both in digital files and hard copy. I put away all the letters, and I started afresh. I felt free.
But memories in a relationship are not just about photos and letters, which are easily discarded. What about clothes? Matching bracelets? Jewellery? Depending on how long is your relationship, the relationship’s left-over’s lists would get longer too, and more expensive.
As a girl, would you throw away your jewelries?
As a guy, would you throw away your expensive jacket or shoes?
Perhaps the best solution is giving them to your sister or brother or friend as yet another gift?
And there’s another problem: even if we don’t mind wearing these stuffs as we are no longer emotionally attached to them, but what would your new partner think when he knows that you are still wearing gifts from a previous partner?
Hmm. I wonder.
I guess wearing ex-partner’s gifts in the first six months after breaking up is a big no. It just begs a lot of unanswered questions, plus, in that early period you might still feel the pain of being separated, thus it’s not wise to open old wounds.
After that? It’s up to you. If you do wear them, know that you are wearing them out of sheer practicality, without emotional attachment at all – they are just goods. Talk to your current partner and say that you have no feelings towards these gifts, and if he doesn’t like the idea, don’t wear it.
If it’s a super expensive gift and you would never throw it away, nor wear it, consider keeping it in a very secure place.
Do not return the gifts, though. Guys, in general, have high pride. If gifts are returned, it feels like the relationship has no meaning. But still, it depends on each individual.
What about you? Do you wear the gifts that you had from previous relationship? Or do you discard them all? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.