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97 articles in category Relationship / Subscribe

Having been engaged for almost one week, I want to tell you that life’s pretty much normal. Despite what my friend told me on the day, I slept very well, thank you very much. I cleaned my apartment and had coffee and went out with friends.

I’m happy that I’m engaged, but apart from being self-conscious about the ring on my left hand’s fourth finger, life’s still, pretty much, the same.

A lot of people see proposal as something life-changing. It’s such an important day, and there’s so much pressure to make it perfect. It has to be a surprise. It has to be something very meaningful. It has to be grand. It has to be magical. And remember the year where everyone seems to propose with a flashmob? Yeap, good luck topping that off.

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It was our fifth anniversary.

We actually never knew the exact date when he first asked me to be his girlfriend. I thought it was on a Thursday night. He thought it was on a Wednesday the next week. So we settled on something: let’s make our anniversary the day when he first asked me out for coffee.

Our fifth anniversary, or five years after he wrote on Facebook chat, ‘Let’s have coffee’, started like any other day. The only thing that was weird that day was the fact that he was already on my doorstep at nine-thirty in the morning. Usually, we would have just started saying good morning at nine-thirty on a Saturday. As he lived one-hour away, he would have woken up at seven that morning. It was weird, but probably he was just wanting to prove something.

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Love should not be effortless.

You know, everyone’s been saying that when you finally meet the one who you’re truly meant to be with, falling in love would be easy, blah blah blah – that the time’s just right and the place’s just right and the who’s just right as well.


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The one who loves you will tell you he loves you. He will also give you the best part of the chicken, take the day off to pick you up from the airport two-hour drive away, and massage your feet when they are swollen.

The one who loves you will tell you that you’re more than just a friend. He will also wait for you, look for you every day, and not flirt with other girls.

The one who loves you will promise to always be with you and take care of you. He will also order your favourite dishes, let you pick the movie to watch, and make time for you, no matter how busy he is.

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Some show their love through a hundred red roses. Some buy her ice cream even when he tells her to lose weight. Some walk her home. Him?

He went to his boss and said, ‘I need to change my leave – from Friday to Tuesday.’

He understood when she didn’t able to come home to him that Tuesday, and he waited for her, again.

He woke up on Saturday morning, excited, and braved the traffic.

And when he finally saw her for the first time in months, he smiled, rushed towards her, took her bulging luggages, and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

‘I’ve missed you,’ he whispered.

And so she beamed, and wondered if she could ever be even more loved than this.

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All my childhood years I grew up knowing for sure that love is enough. Disney movies make me believe that when the Prince comes – the Prince who loves you and fights for you, life will be happily ever after after all. Hollywood romantic comedies all emphasise that whatever happens, whatever problem we are facing, if it’s love, it’ll find a way.

Like, you know, love will triumph against all odds.

The Bible tells me so too. The greatest among faith, love, and hope is love. Love is enough. It is.

Unless it isn’t.

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“If she’s worth it, she’s worth it.”

A reader posted these words on one of my posts which I really agree to. I have said this to a lot of people too many times. If someone tells me their love stories, the first thing I’ll ask is, “Is he worth it? Is he worth all the risks, pain, and troubles?” And if I get an ambiguous answer, well, we all know what that means.

Before all the troubles of analysing, thinking, and processing a relationship, I want people to be sure that the other party is definitely worth it. Even if the relationship doesn’t work out in the end, they will still say I’m glad I go through all these troubles, for he is worth it. I want to make sure.

Too many times people are not.

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Are you familiar with the phrase, ‘I know I’ve done something right’?

It’s a sense of achievement, of accomplishment. We may have done hundreds of mistakes but looking at the fruits of our labours, we also know we have done something right. And something good will be unveiled from that. We’ve done something right, and somehow, our lives have worth.

This post is for my parents.

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