All my childhood years I grew up knowing for sure that love is enough. Disney movies make me believe that when the Prince comes – the Prince who loves you and fights for you, life will be happily ever after after all. Hollywood romantic comedies all emphasise that whatever happens, whatever problem we are facing, if it’s love, it’ll find a way.
Like, you know, love will triumph against all odds.
The Bible tells me so too. The greatest among faith, love, and hope is love. Love is enough. It is.
Unless it isn’t.
Sometime last year I made a mistake and my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. I jumped into another conclusion. Love is not enough. Feelings fluctuate and it will change as seasons go by. The adhesive glue that keeps us together may not be love. It may be loyalty. It may be commitment, understanding, or compassion. It may be honesty. And it may not be 100 per cent love.
My boyfriend doesn’t share this view. He believes that it’s love. Love is enough. Feelings don’t change if you keep nurture it. No matter what will happen in the future, love is the powerful force, greater than gravity that you just can’t run away from.
I nodded, and yet thinking that perhaps it’s okay to agree to disagree, which is really ironic, because the last time I checked, I’m the Eve’s descendant who is eleven years younger than him.
Is love enough?
The world gives a verdict that if one love dries up, it simply means it’s never there in the first place. Thus the love that can withstand time is the only true love that we ever have. I don’t believe this. People fall in love, and love. One day they may find that the love is gone. It doesn’t really mean that love is not there in the first place. It was. It just happened that the love that blossomed was with the wrong person, or the wrong time, or the wrong place, or the combination of three.
And what about true love? True love, well, is a tricky thing. I don’t use this term much because hey, no one really knows about true love, even until the end of time. True love revolves around the concept of fate – of being with the one that you are created, destined to be with. No. I say you choose your own true love, and make him one despite everything else.
True love is simply believing that she is the biggest fish there is for you, with 100 per cent faith.
You know, love is not enough.
Unless it is.
As I laid on bed late last night with the sound of my baby nephew crying, I suddenly realised how blessed I am. I have parents who understand me. My sisters who support me. My baby nephew who gives new bundle of joy in our family. My boyfriend who loves and treats me like a queen.
Love, I begin to understand, has many forms. The world defines love as merely a feeling. So many people let their relationship crumbles on the basis of, “I’ve lost my feelings,” or “The fire has gone out.”
And if love is really just a feeling, clearly it’s not enough. It’s not enough to just have chemistry, or to just care about a person. Relationship requires much more than that.
But love, love is not only a feeling. The world separates other virtues of love and make them totally separate entities. These virtues? Commitment. Loyalty. Selflessness. Understanding. Compassion. Forgiveness.
Is love enough?
I look at us, and pause for a while. And I smile.
Yes, it is.
Ps. If you’ve found the one and currently are embarking on the next phase of your relationship (ie. getting engaged and planning your wedding – oh, how exciting), do visit Bridestory! It’s a website that has full list of vendors and inspirations to help you navigate the endless ideas you have for your dream wedding. My sister is currently planning her wedding and I realise how helpful it is to have everything in one basket, which is what Bridestory has achieved.
Photo by Basterous