You have a long list of things you’ve done but never been proud of, and in the end the best thing you can do is just to accept them, and move on. Unpacking those baggage might also be seriously time consuming and you prefer to avoid it at all cost, shuddering at even the slightest chance of emotional disorder.
There are regrets in those baggage. Lots of pain and wrong turns and heartaches too. You wish you never made the choice but at that time, your eighteen-year-old self naively thought that it was a good idea, so you went on.
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