Some say love is blind. Another says it is all about passion. Some believe it’s putting others before themselves.

There are many different definitions of love.

Hence, there are 1001 manifestations of it too. One is willing to die. Another, to kill. All in the name of love.

I was having lunch with my friends when the topic about relationship and love come out. A girl friend then said, “I don’t want to be in a relationship,” and we all know why.

One year ago her long-distance boyfriend cheated on her and until this day, he denied to admit it. It has scarred and made her redefine the meaning of love.

As psychology students, another girl friend tried to explain the psychological definition of love.

“It’s all about balance,” she said, “between intimacy and commitment.

“Once the balance is broken you get something else, lust or infatuation, for example.”

Another guy friend jumped into the conversation too.

“I believe the greatest force in this world is love,” he said.

“All humans are selfish. People only think about themselves. There are forces of corruption, hatred, and other stuffs but in the end, the force of love is the one that can trump all.”

Ah, love. So simple, and yet, so complicated.

There are many different kinds of love too. Parental love. Friendship love. Romantic love. Or love for your pet. Each has different meaning and way to express it.

Hitch said it once, “This is exactly why falling in love is so goddamn hard.” And what is that? Miscommunication. The unwillingness to sacrifice, to admit that we are wrong. The bottom line? Selfishness.

Living my 20th year, I have seen so many friends broke up for various reasons. Some of them were… generic.

“I just got bored.”

Or, “He didn’t understand me at all.”

Or even, “He never picks me up.”

Bottom line? Selfishness. Because we are all selfish beings. And yet love works on another alien formula: others > self.

So why do some love triumph, and why do others, like my friend’s, fail?

Apart from being with a total loser, I believe somewhere along the journey, one of the two just stops being selfless.

And when one stops being selfless, the balance of two-way relationship tips. That is when love, or whatever you call it, fails.

It’s as simple as that.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8