dear present

Dear Present,

I wish you could talk to your siblings Past and Future and tell me exactly what’s going on and what will be going on later in life. I wish you have that ability.

Everytime I ask you a question, you just smile empathically while throwing back all the choices to me. I can’t read your face. The only thing I know is you repeatedly assure me that it’s not your place to decide. I will have to pick my own battles and key in my own hours. There’s no shortcut.

Present, you’re the only one who’s real, but seriously, you need to talk more. Past is so talkative that at times I feel that she talks too much. Future is enthusiastic, and talks as much. She makes me scared, but she also gives me hope and courage.

But they don’t really exist, do they? Then only thing that matters is you.

And I have no idea what to do with you.

It’s easier to talk with Past. She knows a lot of things about me and we connect – sometimes to a destructive level. Future knows the person I want to become and she supports it. But she also whispers hints of doubt that makes me feel depressed sometimes.

But you, Present, you never say anything. You just watch from the side – observing me. Sometimes you’re being cold, and sometimes you give me the warmth of the sun. I can’t read you.

But I’m really glad you are there.

Present, you always give me another chance. Your presence speaks volumes, as if you believe in me no matter what I’m doing. One day we’ll arrive to the end of our journey together, and there’s a soothing feeling knowing that you’re still going to be there.

Thank you, Present, for always believing in me. Don’t ever stop.

Love,

M.

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