collecting junk

Have you ever taken a real, hard look at your closet? If you’re a little bit like me, I bet you haven’t worn half of them for the past year (actually, I haven’t worn any of the clothes in the past 1.5 years. Well, I have been away!). But seriously, I’m so bad at throwing things away. Even though deep inside I know I wouldn’t use it again.

So two days ago I arrived in Melbourne. I spent the entire last night to turn my closet upside down, rearranging the clothes and getting sentimental with some gifts, photos, and cards from the old days. I went through all my possessions I had left behind. Then I noticed that all my notes and subject guides – remnants from my old Bachelor’s life, are still intact. I wanted to throw them away. But I couldn’t. It just felt wrong. Like, what if I need to consult those pages again in the near future?

Yes, I collect junk.

I never throw away my movie tickets. I have a box full of them (hence, if counted, the thousands of dollars spent on this entertainment). I have the namecard of every restaurant/coffee shop I have ever been to (okay, most of them at the very least). I keep old clothes – hand-me-downs from my sister and since I am the last gatekeeper (if it’s not in my possession, the clothes would be gone forever), I could never throw them away.

…So that’s why I never have enough room for my own clothes.

And like, seriously, I have gained kg upon kg during the past few years! Most of my clothes don’t fit anymore and I can’t, really can’t throw them away. They are still in good condition and once upon a time, I love wearing them.

But now, I am just left with junk.

Yes, junk.

Junk with sentimental values, but still junk.

If I’m really honest, I will never wear them again. I’ll never open those notes again.

But having them safely tucked under the mattress gives the false sense of possibility that if I ever need them in the future, I will still have access to it.

Which is silly, right?

We keep things because we hope that we will need them in the future, and when we do, we know exactly where to search for them. Our room’s always cluttered with things we never, ever going to wear anymore. Pins. Coins. Name tags. Tickets. KFC vouchers that had expired for long. We keep Christmas cards, birthday cards, or even brochures and catalogs from twenty years past because we thought that one day, we would surely have use for them.

Well, I think it’s really time to throw the clothes I will never (realistically) wear. Or donate them.

As for those notes and guides, I still can’t bear of dumping these expensive, so-called educational programs. Any volunteer who wants to take it from my place?


Photo by Richard Foo TH