making choices

Really, I do.

No matter how many choices I’ve made – no matter how many wrong turns and right guesses, I still don’t know how to make one. If I don’t have to choose, I will have both options open – which will give me the liberty of having the best of both ends.

Alas, I can’t have my cake and eat it too.

In a week’s time I’m going to have to choose if whether I want to take my Master’s degree. It’s starting in July, and I’ll be studying Publishing and Communication. But really, what if this degree is another education which burns tons of money that I would never need? What if this degree wouldn’t equip me with the dream job I need?

What if taking this Master’s turns out to be a wrong choice?

If it is, what’s the right choice then?

If you have followed my blog for long, you would have noticed that I love Prof. Randy Pausch. In his book The Last Lecture, he said that one of the advices that his father gave him is to never make a choice until the time you really need to. The answer will then come to you. Perhaps I take this advice by heart because I always leave any decision-making activity to the last minute. I hope that by this time, my heart would have matured enough to choose for me.

But yes, I haven’t yet decided. I love the idea of going back to Melbourne to study. I do. And I love the degree. But I don’t fancy the fee. Really, I’m scared that I’m not worth the $$$ that my parents would invest on.

To make this even more complicated, here’s the million-dollar-question: “What would you do if you decide not to do Master’s?”

I have no idea.


My dream? Do you know Nora Ephron? The writer of Sleepless in Seattle and You’ve Got Mail? She wrote a book, sold it, and bought a house with the money. That’s my dream.

And having a business. Just a small one, really. A homey good one, although I’m still not sure what.

Anyways, one week to go, and one heavy decision to be made. Wish me luck.


Photo by chiarashine