#tjokandella

Nov 02

I WASN’T THE TYPE of girl who dreamed of getting married early. I never actually dotted down the ‘perfect age to get married’, but if I did it would probably be somewhere in my late 20s. And honestly, I never thought that I’d be one of first ones among my peers to be a Mrs.

My first sister got married when she was 25, and during one of the family dinners my uncle approached me and said, ‘Remember, don’t get married too early. Enjoy life more.’ My parents were also on the same wagon—they preferred their daughters to only be ‘daughters’ for as long as it was possible.

Obviously the advice didn’t stick, because three months after my sister’s wedding, I got into a relationship.

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Sep 19

By now, you’d have probably heard the news: I am married. Tjokro and I tied the knot in a simple, intimate ceremony in Melbourne last weekend, and the day was just magical. I don’t just say that because I’m biased (wait, maybe I am), but it really was a blessed day.

I am yet to find time to sit down and tell you all the crazy stories about preparing two weddings and a marriage, (believe me, this is going to be my next book), but over the past few weeks I did write a few bits and pieces on my Instagram account.

This post is a compilation of those stories in leading to the wedding. And since I am no longer obligated to keep our prewedding photos a secret (not that I ever did), here they are.

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Jul 26

Planning a wedding is tiring.

Yes, it’s a happy time—I’ve been looking at pretty things with hefty price tags and dreaming about them in an obsessive-compulsive way, albeit never going to have those things at my own wedding. That kind of happiness.

A friend has recently, politely, told me that it’s two months to the big day. It hasn’t really sunk in, actually. Should I panic? Is it actually still a long time away? Or is it such a short time away? Should I start obsessing about every single little thing?

Like, I probably should contact my florist and talk about the details. Yet I’m still indecisive on the exact colours of the bouquet I want for that day. I probably should finalise the transportation for our (my fiancé’s and my) big happy family during their stay in Melbourne. Yet I’m still too lazy to make any decisive plan.

We haven’t decided on the songs. Yes, we’ve decided on our walking-down-the-aisle and first dance song, but I never realise that we actually have to choose a song for signing the register, ceremony recessional, reception processional, and so on.

And that’s just the Melbourne wedding.

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Apr 12

Last weekend, my fiancé and I looked at each other in the eye way much more than in the six years of our relationship combined.

I mean, how often do you actually stare into your significant other’s eyes for more than three seconds? Rarely, I’d presume. Perhaps when you say ‘I love you’, or when you’re extremely annoyed of him being late and thus giving him the look. But still, rarely.

Oh yes, we’ve survived our prewedding photo shoot. Two full days of it.

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Mar 31

My fiancé was sitting down beside me, watching the Australian reality TV show My Kitchen Rules. But he was distracted with his phone and scrolled through a lot of unread emails. I was surprised on the sheer amount of it, because he doesn’t seem like the type that would opt for newsletter subscription.

I said, ‘You should unsubscribe. Like, you’re basically deleting everything now.’

He laughed and showed me his phone. ‘Hun, the emails are from Pinterest, telling me you’ve pinned something.’

Whoops.

So let’s talk about Pinterest: the wedding inspiration platform that has successfully brainwashed me into wanting things I don’t need and needing things I don’t even know exist before.

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Oct 12

Consider I’m one of the lucky ones – I get to plan for my wedding twice.

Or consider I’m one of the unlucky ones – I get to plan for my wedding twice.

After finding and securing the big vendors (read: venue, make-up artist, photography and the like) for our Melbourne wedding, my partner and I are now planning for our second wedding celebration in Jakarta. This means we need to find another venue, another make-up artist, another photography and another everything.

To the ladies who say that planning for one wedding has caused them much headache, well, try planning for two.

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Sep 06

It’s September, and I’m now officially one year away from my own wedding.

After getting engaged in March and securing the venue of the Melbourne wedding, both my partner (or should I say fiancee?) and I were taking a break. We haven’t done anything wedding-related since May, but now that I’m back home in Jakarta, probably we should pick up the pace once again.

Yes, I’m back in Jakarta. With frequent travels to Singapore and Melbourne, of course, but back in Jakarta. At least until Chinese New Year.

So for the past week, I’ve been researching on vendors in Jakarta. We do have another dinner celebration here, and we haven’t really done anything for this one. So I start by stalking them on Instagram, and asking for their price list and packages.

Here’s something that I’ve known for a long, long time: Wedding is expensive.

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Jun 06

Here is what I thought I would feel when I finally sign the contract with a wedding venue: ‘OH MY I CAN’T BELIEVE WE’RE GETTING MARRIED!’

Here is what I actually felt: ‘Hunny, let’s just get this over with.’

Wait, what? I’m not supposed to tell everyone that I have a date and a venue? I should share those details a few months before the big day? Ah, you know I’m a blogger.

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Mar 24

Having been engaged for almost one week, I want to tell you that life’s pretty much normal. Despite what my friend told me on the day, I slept very well, thank you very much. I cleaned my apartment and had coffee and went out with friends.

I’m happy that I’m engaged, but apart from being self-conscious about the ring on my left hand’s fourth finger, life’s still, pretty much, the same.

A lot of people see proposal as something life-changing. It’s such an important day, and there’s so much pressure to make it perfect. It has to be a surprise. It has to be something very meaningful. It has to be grand. It has to be magical. And remember the year where everyone seems to propose with a flashmob? Yeap, good luck topping that off.

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Mar 21

It was our fifth anniversary.

We actually never knew the exact date when he first asked me to be his girlfriend. I thought it was on a Thursday night. He thought it was on a Wednesday the next week. So we settled on something: let’s make our anniversary the day when he first asked me out for coffee.

Our fifth anniversary, or five years after he wrote on Facebook chat, ‘Let’s have coffee’, started like any other day. The only thing that was weird that day was the fact that he was already on my doorstep at nine-thirty in the morning. Usually, we would have just started saying good morning at nine-thirty on a Saturday. As he lived one-hour away, he would have woken up at seven that morning. It was weird, but probably he was just wanting to prove something.

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Page 2

On being newlyweds

My darling (A prewedding story)

Who are the place cards for?

From the bride-to-be: Behind the scenes of a prewedding photo shoot

Something just like this

The search for the perfect wedding venue, the second time

On searching for wedding vendors: When should you stop?

The search for the perfect wedding venue

‘How he asked’ is always a great story. But the real thing is…

Very, very happy