For the first time in 20 years, I feel like a little girl who’s been told that fairies don’t exist. I feel like a child waiting anxiously till midnight, only to find out that Santa, his elfs, and his shack in North Pole are not real. I feel like a boy who’s been told that he can’t put on his red coat, fly across the city, and defeat the bad guys.
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I know the best thing to do is just to decide on something and commit to it. But I’m really scared. I’m scared to make the wrong decision. I’m scared of not getting it right the first time. I’m scared that my decision will cost something way much more that I have anticipated to pay.
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She sat there in front of me, a latte on the side. She didn’t want to look me in the eyes.
She sipped her coffee quietly, looking outside the window. Something was troubling her mind, I could see that. She looked around, to the left, and to the right, and suddenly, her face changed. She remembered something, something unpleasant, I suppose.
And she wiped a tear under her right eye.
She kept on looking out of the window, deep in thought, and was surprised when the waitress brought her ordered sandwich to the table.
She forced a smile, and said an inaudible thank you. She began to eat her sandwich, quietly, still with a sad look, a downcast eye, and a deep thought.
What was it?
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I was journaling and thinking of my future careers after graduation, complete with my latte and iPad when this question came to me: “What is your most memorable moment in these three years of university life?”
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Two years ago, I made this poem to commemorate a girl who died on a car crash, way before her untimely death. Somehow, I remembered it today. Dedicated to all to you who have lost somebody.
—
The pastor comes and done is done
The only child, yes, the girl is
and through the cries, weeps, tears and moans
The girl murmurs, “forget-me-not”
Then Death comes and asks her hand
“No,” she says, “I’m not done yet”
Death nods but says no words
“forget-me-not, I want them to do”
and Death is gone,
is found no more
Even with my better-than-average intake of veggies and fruits and decent cooking, I feel defeated. Deflated. Gone are those ambitions to become a better cook as I become independent. Now I’m slightly worried of the well-being of my future husband. I really hope he can cook.
Read more →I am graduating. And there is a possibility that I will become jobless. But being unemployed doesn’t mean that I will become a failure. And whatever I’ll be doing after graduation, I know they all will be worthwhile. I know they will become dots that one day, connect.
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On my previous article, I have talked about discovering your dream. Now, I would talk about how to finally get there.
Like, you know, dreams are not always to be found by trying new things. Sometimes they are to be found by searching your childhood and looking at what you are fond of doing.
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Over the past year, I have learned two important lessons about dreams. One, is about how to actually discover your dream, which will be discussed in this article. And two, is about how to finally get there, which will be discussed in the next post.
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As you perhaps know, last week, I offended a whole lot of people. I might not be able to get away with this issue, but that’s okay. Because I know one day this mistake of mine will be connected in the series of dots somewhere.
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